Who says Miracles don't still happen?

Over the last 24 hours I have had the most amazing thing happen to me. I was commenting on facebook about my desire to take an online class but unfortunately it wasn't something I could budget. In response to that post two women who I know only out here in cyberspace secretly sent me paypal payments to use for the tuition. They both sent the total amount of tuition plus a little extra to cover the PP charges. I am so touched by their actions that I've been weepy and sniffly all night and day.

These RAOKs (Random Acts of Kindness) are sadly lacking in most of our lives. We're always in such a rush to get somewhere we sometimes forget to do even little things. Hold the door for someone juggling packages; forget to smile at an older person walking by; say thank you to a harried check-out person; stop and admire someone's garden. Each day we're given opportunities to do something special for someone else but often the question we silently ask ourselves is "what's in it for me?"

These women, one in MA and one in the UK did not have to go to these lengths for a stranger. But they chose to reach out to someone to brighten their day. And in my case, renew my hope. When I was fighting breast cancer 6 years ago I was so wrapped up in the fight I didn't think about why I was fighting to live; I just fought! In the last few months and years I've questioned why God let me stay around if His only plan for me was poverty level existence. I still am wondering just how He will finally show me why I'm still here. But two women have so touched my life that I think He's beginning to revel His plans just a bit.

The online class I'm taking is called "Mixed Media Melange". When I saw it advertised on the FB ad sidebar I clicked on it out of curiosity more than anything. Looking at the list of supplies I saw that I had EVERYTHING they said was needed for the class and I wistfully posted about it to my 3000+ friends. Never dreaming that I'd ever have the chance to take it, let alone have two women reach out to me financially, I'm putting God on the spot and asking him to show me a way I can use the knowledge that I'll gain from it for a higher purpose.

I'll keep you posted. I've made a promise to myself and my readers to blog more and offer more of myself. I'm keeping faith by doing these postings as miracles start to happen all around me. God Bless Rose and Dawn...two angels in disguise!

Coincidence or Fate?

I've been battling with my authentic self for weeks, nay months! on what my artist voice should be singing. I have gone back and forth looking at the various online sites to see what was selling; could I do that and did I want to?

Yesterday through a series of coincidences, I now believe in a Universal plan that I had misplaced somewhere along the way to making my art be profitable. I've tried various styles, mediums, surfaces...anything that was selling that I thought I could do as well if not better than the person who was selling it. I got confused and lost and my voice became a squeak in a depth of the blackest night. I was well and truly lost. And being confused is not the way to a healthy mental or physical lifestyle. Especially when one has already been through cancer and needs to keep healthy and stress-free.

It came to a head when I accepted a spot in a one night all out gallery bash in my old home town. I agreed instantly because I was sure it would finally help me decide on what I was 'supposed' to be painting. After 7 weeks of going back and forth and looking at my work I could not find a single thing that was consistent between the pieces other than I had created them with the same paintbrushes and paints. They were a mishmosh of every artist I have ever admired! Holy Cow! Now I knew I was in trouble because gallery night was four nights away and OMG what was I going to do.

Walking about my house and its hidey holes of supplies and such I came across a box of pieces I'd done back in 1996. 1996 was a definitive year for me for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which was I found myself in a position that Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards have occupied. And as surely as Mrs. Edwards would have sworn on her husband's faithfulness I swore on mine. You know the old saying about the wife being the last to know. It isn't a saying, it is a truth.

Anyway, I found the work I had shown that year. The last year I had a gallery show, the last year I was my true and authentic self. Holding those pieces in my hands I rediscovered myself. How refreshing and how peaceful it is to finally look into that artistic mirror and see your true self looking back at you.

So I have put aside all of those pieces I have painted over the last weeks and months and pulled out of storage the true and authentic artist I knew was hiding somewhere behind the curtains of my doubt and uncertainty. The pieces may or may not sell come Friday night. But the crowds will be friendly, the wine will be great and the work will finally be...authentic!