Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

I suppose I will be damned to hell by some folks who read this because I admit to being tolerant of all others despite their sexual orientation or religious beliefs. But I found this too amusing and informative not to share:

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US resident, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10

16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D, Professor Emeritus,
Dept Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

All Good Things Must End Someday

Last night at about 9 pm EST my little chihuahua, Tyler, died in my husband's arms. It was a sudden illness that took him in less than 24 hours. We are devastated at his loss since it was unexpected and so very, very quick. But we all got to hold him, cuddle him, kiss him and tell him we loved him and then my husband sat with him in his arms for two and a half hours while I took my daughter to her first bridal show. I didn't want to leave Ty but my husband insisted I go and I'm glad I did. Ty passed shortly after my daughter and I returned and I will miss his sweet disposition and gentle eyes forever.

WILD GYPSY JEWELS is now on facebook

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WILD GYPSY JEWELS is now on facebook

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WildGypsyJewels is off and running.....

January 2011 and I'm making resolutions to...

• be more proactive with my art by:
  
• blogging, tweeting and FaceBooking regularly
  
• offering something FREE to the public at regular intervals
  
• GIVING something away monthly
  
• writing about what I want to read about
  
• NOT getting personal; no one cares if I've broken a nail
  
• networking with other bloggers
  
• successfully working my NEW eBay store (click title above)
  
• TAKING MY ART SERIOUSLY after a decade of indifference

Now that having been said I do want to catch my readers up on a few personal things. One is that my beautiful daughter, Lauren, became engaged to her e-Harmony match on Christmas Eve. Somewhere in the archives are pictures of them on her 30th birthday...I hope. Tonight is the bridal show for her chosen venue so off we go to do the Mommy, Daughter, Auntie, Future s-i-l and m-i-l thing. So far the only stumbling block is money. See my notes above on my proposed remedy:)

And the other, very sad and very scary thing I want to blog is that my little five lb. Chihuahua, Tyler, almost died this morning. I resuscitated him and we now believe his airway was being obstructed by a loose tooth. We preformed some minor surgery and have given him some fluids, antibiotics and baby asprin. All in all, a family living at the poverty level at the moment has done what they used to do before there was a Vet on every major highway...we have taken care of our own livestock and are cautiously optimistic that he will recover. I was up a few times during the night after he failed to eat at bedtime. I'm saying little prayers for the 'big guy' since at almost 13 he's still a major player in our family's circle of pets.

So there you have it...the second blog post after four months of 'turtling' by the Jersey Girl. Stay tuned for giveaways, freebies and good stuff without any b*tching and complaining about LIFE. Because once you have kicked the a@@ of cancer you MUST be willing to enjoy every single minute of LIFE no matter what it hands you. As my son is fond of saying...money is great and a necessary evil...but the only thing money really affords you is experiences. Interesting thought about the green stuff that fuels and sometimes stalls the economy of this family and this country.